diff --git a/.github/workflows/code-cover-gen.yml b/.github/workflows/code-cover-gen.yml
index f078ca56f985..68767b5f815f 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/code-cover-gen.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/code-cover-gen.yml
@@ -6,6 +6,7 @@ on:
 
 jobs:
   code-cover-gen:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: ubuntu-latest
     env:
       PR: ${{ github.event.pull_request.number }}
diff --git a/.github/workflows/github-actions-essential-ci.yml b/.github/workflows/github-actions-essential-ci.yml
index ab18508a8c9b..705754a10e66 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/github-actions-essential-ci.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/github-actions-essential-ci.yml
@@ -53,6 +53,7 @@ concurrency:
   cancel-in-progress: true
 jobs:
   acceptance:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_big_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -74,6 +75,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   check_generated_code:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -89,6 +91,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   docker_image_amd64:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -110,6 +113,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   examples_orms:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_big_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 40
     steps:
@@ -131,6 +135,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./cockroach/build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   lint:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_big_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 60
     steps:
@@ -155,6 +160,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   local_roachtest:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_big_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 60
     steps:
@@ -176,6 +182,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   local_roachtest_fips:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group_fips]
     timeout-minutes: 60
     steps:
@@ -197,6 +204,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   linux_amd64_build:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -218,6 +226,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   linux_amd64_fips_build:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -239,6 +248,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   linux_arm64_build:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -260,6 +270,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   macos_amd64_build:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -281,6 +292,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   macos_arm64_build:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
@@ -302,6 +314,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   unit_tests:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 60
     steps:
@@ -325,6 +338,7 @@ jobs:
         run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
         if: always()
   windows_build:
+    if: false  # This will always skip this job
     runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
     timeout-minutes: 30
     steps:
diff --git a/.github/workflows/microbenchmarks.yaml b/.github/workflows/microbenchmarks.yaml
new file mode 100644
index 000000000000..cf8bf3ef357a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/.github/workflows/microbenchmarks.yaml
@@ -0,0 +1,41 @@
+name: Microbenchmarks CI
+on:
+  pull_request:
+    types: [ opened, reopened, synchronize ]
+    branches: [ master ]
+
+jobs:
+  microbench-build-head:
+    name: Head Binaries
+    runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
+    timeout-minutes: 30
+    steps:
+      - name: checkout PR head commit
+        uses: actions/checkout@v4
+        with:
+          ref: ${{ github.event.pull_request.head.sha || github.ref }}
+      - run: ./build/github/get-engflow-keys.sh
+      - name: print commit message
+        run: git log -1 --pretty=format:"%H %an %s"
+      - name: build tests
+        run: ./build/github/microbenchmarks-build.sh
+      - name: clean up
+        run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
+        if: always()
+  microbench-build-base:
+    name: Base Binaries
+    runs-on: [self-hosted, basic_runner_group]
+    timeout-minutes: 30
+    steps:
+      - name: checkout PR base commit
+        uses: actions/checkout@v4
+        with:
+          ref: ${{ github.event.pull_request.base.sha }}
+      - run: ./build/github/get-engflow-keys.sh
+      - name: print commit message
+        run: git log -1 --pretty=format:"%H %an %s"
+      - name: build tests
+        run: ./build/github/microbenchmarks-build.sh
+      - name: clean up
+        run: ./build/github/cleanup-engflow-keys.sh
+        if: always()
diff --git a/build/github/microbenchmarks-build.sh b/build/github/microbenchmarks-build.sh
new file mode 100755
index 000000000000..39f9f05fa7bb
--- /dev/null
+++ b/build/github/microbenchmarks-build.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+#!/bin/bash
+
+# Copyright 2025 The Cockroach Authors.
+#
+# Use of this software is governed by the CockroachDB Software License
+# included in the /LICENSE file.
+
+set -euxo pipefail
+
+bazel build //pkg/sql/tests:tests_test \
+  --jobs 100 \
+  --config=crosslinux \
+  --remote_download_minimal \
+  $(./build/github/engflow-args.sh)