diff --git a/cheat/timestamp-dcs.sh b/cheat/timestamp-dcs.sh
new file mode 100755
index 0000000..2ed76b5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/cheat/timestamp-dcs.sh
@@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
+# Check if HONEYCOMB_API_KEY is set
+if [ -z "$HONEYCOMB_API_KEY" ]; then
+  echo "no HONEYCOMB_API_KEY environment variable"
+  exit 0 # this is not an error, just the state of things
+fi
+
+# Honeycomb API base URL
+BASE_URL="https://api.honeycomb.io/1"
+
+name=dc.env.event_timestamp
+echo "creating $name"
+curl -i -X POST \
+  'https://api.honeycomb.io/1/derived_columns/__all__' \
+  -H 'Content-Type: application/json' \
+  -H "X-Honeycomb-Team: $HONEYCOMB_API_KEY" \
+  -d '{
+    "alias": "dc.env.event_timestamp",
+    "expression": "FORMAT_TIME(\"%FT %TZ\", EVENT_TIMESTAMP())",
+    "description": "When the event occurred, according to its data"
+  }'
+
+name=dc.env.ingest_timestamp
+echo "creating $name"
+curl -i -X POST \
+  'https://api.honeycomb.io/1/derived_columns/__all__' \
+  -H 'Content-Type: application/json' \
+  -H "X-Honeycomb-Team: $HONEYCOMB_API_KEY" \
+  -d '{
+    "alias": "dc.env.ingest_timestamp",
+    "expression": "FORMAT_TIME(\"%FT %TZ\", INGEST_TIMESTAMP())",
+    "description": "When Honeycomb received this event"
+  }'
+
+name=dc.env.ingest_delay
+echo "creating $name"
+curl -i -X POST \
+  'https://api.honeycomb.io/1/derived_columns/__all__' \
+  -H 'Content-Type: application/json' \
+  -H "X-Honeycomb-Team: $HONEYCOMB_API_KEY" \
+  -d '{
+    "alias": "dc.env.ingest_delay",
+    "expression": "SUB(INGEST_TIMESTAMP(), EVENT_TIMESTAMP())",
+    "description": "seconds between ingest and when the event says it happened"
+  }'
\ No newline at end of file