Disclaimer: THIS IS IRONY
Whenever someone says system xy is slow/... we should ask them to specify more clearly how slow it is and what was the perceived speed before it got slow. By this we try to gain a better understanding of the performance degradation the user is experiencing.
Ask the user to state what the speed felt like before and after the performance degradation. Provide the following list to chose from:
- fast as lightining
- incredibly fast
- blazingly fast
- should be faster
- fast
- quite fast
- mostly fast
- swift
- speedy
- quick
- fairly quick
- responsive
- normal
- unhasty
- hesitant
- sluggy
- slow
- strangely slow
- incredibly slow
- unbelievable slow
- dead slow
- Let me go and grab a coffee while this loads
- unresponsive
- takes ages
- Time that deep thougt needed to calculate the answer to the question of all questions, namely about life, the universe and all the rest
If you think the list above is incomplete or not ordered correctly, please create a pull request and start a discussion in a GitHub issue.