updated jokes

controllers/jokes.txt

@@ -37,4 +37,43 @@ If you want to get a job at the moisturizer factory... <>you’re going to have
 I don’t know what’s going to happen next year. <>It’s probably because I don’t have 2020 vision.
 Want to hear a joke about going to the bathroom? <>Urine for a treat.
 I couldn’t figure out how to use the seat belt. <>Then it just clicked.
-I got an email the other day teaching me how to read maps backwards<>turns out it was just spam.
+I got an email the other day teaching me how to read maps backwards<>turns out it was just spam.
+I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.<> It's impossible to put down!
+You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there?<> European.
+Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France?<> They were cooked in Greece.
+Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... <>it's tearable.
+ I just watched a documentary about beavers. <>It was the best dam show I ever saw!
+ If you see a robbery at an Apple Store what re you?<> An iWitness?
+ Spring is here! <>I got so excited I wet my plants!
+ What’s Forrest Gump’s password?<> 1forrest1
+ Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? <>Because he was a little horse!
+ CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" <>DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”
+ Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? <>They say he made a mint.
+ I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.<> I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
+ Why do chicken coops only have two doors?<> Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!
+ How do you make a Kleenex dance? <>Put a little boogie in it!
+ A termite walks into a bar and asks<>"Is the bar tender here?"
+ Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?<> He couldn't see himself doing it.
+  I used to have a job at a calendar factory <>but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.
+  A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" <>She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”
+  How do you make holy water?<> You boil the hell out of it.
+I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.<> I woke up exhausted!
+Did you hear about the circus fire?<> It was in tents!
+Don't trust atoms.<> They make up everything!
+How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? <>Ten-tickles.
+I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language.<> I don’t know why.
+Why did the cow in the pasture get promoted at work?<> Because he is OUT-STANDING in his field!
+What do prisoners use to call each other?<> Cell phones.
+Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? <>It was two tired.
+Who was the fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table?<> Sir Cumference. 
+Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? <>It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
+You know what the loudest pet you can get is?<> A trumpet.
+What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?<> Frostbite.
+What do you call a deer with no eyes?<> No idea!
+Can February March? <>No, but April May!
+What do you call a lonely cheese? <>Provolone.
+Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?<> Because the pee is silent.
+What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school?<> Bison.
+What do you call someone with no body and no nose? <>Nobody knows.
+You heard of that new band 1023MB? <>They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.
+Why did the crab never share?<> Because he's shellfish.